To Cut A Long Spandau Reunion Short

It was insulting enough that last year Australia was attacked by a casino and tabaret tour of former Spandau Ballet singer Tony Hadley. And to make matters worse it was a double bill with the far lesser Paul Young (does anyone remember his blue-eyed soulless rape of 'Love Will Tear Us Apart'?). "Ah well," we thought, "guess we'll never see Spandau so this'll do..." But nuh-uh. After years of nasty nasty lawsuits it looks like the '80s new romantic funksters-turned-GoldFM-staple have buried the bloodied hatchets and are reforming for a UK tour despite the band's core Kemp brothers not needing the cash, seeing as one of them is a rich actorly type nowadays (see: EastEnders, the same UK soap Goldie and Altered Images' Clare Grogan slunk of too). But here's the rub - looks like Australia won't be getting the Spandau tour... no, instead we get told that The Human League are back to Oz again, still churning out the Dare hits, at V Fest alongside the once-mighty/now-desperate Madness (the Sadness singer's TV career didn't do so well). But when you think about it, will we really be missing much not seeing the Spand-exes all getting their Ballet on again? You can bet your bottom euro that the band are getting paid mighty bucks by a promoter wanting to milk the band's post-romantic arena albums, True and Parade. Both are yeuch! A Spandau gig would only be worth the $150+ ticket price if they played only cuts from their wonderfully electro and funky first two albums, Journeys To Glory and Diamond. We deserve to never hear Gold again, only luxuriously indulgent extended jams of 'Chant No 1', 'The Freeze' and 'Musclebound'. Considering that Hadley's desperation to stay-in/return-to the spotlight has led him to record with Tin Tin Out, take part in Band Aid, release a track on Positiva, tour with Paul Young, etc... there's no way he will risk funking his comeback into clubspotting obscurity. Too bad 'cos those first two Spandau albums are greater than anything those other '80s phoney romantic romantics think they have contributed to Planet Earth's discography.

Let's hark back to the days when Spandau were considered a menace to society and not an anthem for classic radio playlists. It's 1981's controversial 'Paint Me Down' clip (well, less controversial and more "oo-er, missus, the boys have lost their clothes and tickling themselves rainbow-coloured...."):